“Kraaaaaaaanngggs” by Harebrained! Want TeeFury to print it?! Tell them here!
Need this on a shirt TODAY? RedBubble that shit!
Follow Harebrained on Facebook! He’s a tall guy with a pencil.
Skulls are for Pussies is only $12 for a limited time at TshirtContest.com! This is a great chance to get the shirt super cheap! Especially for those who missed the chance to buy it via TeeFury a couple months ago!
“What do you want on your tombstone?”… Sometimes concepts seem much cooler/funnier in my head. This is one of those times. Anyways you can buy this on RedBubble!
Goldie’s Bar - North Center 2829 N Lincoln Ave.
There’s not many bars I usually advise to visiting, but Goldies on Lincoln and Berenice is definitely one of them. Want a good bunch of weirdos cheering on the Bulls while you drink $1 beers? Goldies is everything to everyone. Say the popular sports team isn’t playing at the moment you’re having a drink at Goldie’s, ask to play from any of their Nintendo/Super Nintendo/Sega systems! This place is my heart, my soul, my spouse and hooker. Its got a little bit of everything for me. Despite the fact that PBRs are $1 every day, dogs are allowed, and you don’t have to fight some asshole crowd to order a beer, this place remains generally empty. Perfect– my kind of bar! And the bartenders are the fucking shit! If somebody doesn’t tip, they’ll stare at the patron, call them out on their shit, and then wait for a tip. Its the most fun you can have while drinking $1 PBRs. If you’re smart, you’ll order a pizza from somewhere nearby and have it delivered. Cause customers there do it every couple of hours, and you’re gonna get really hungry with that somebody else’s pie lying around.
Best of Roscoe Village Part 3
Four Treys 3333 N Damen Ave
Not to be confused with Four Moons, Four Treys is about a block away on the corner of Henderson and Damen. And where Four Moons caters to drinkers looking for unique craft beers and something to eat, Four Trey’s offers two terrible taps (Magners and Bud Light) and some other restaurant’s menu to look at. In case you get really hungry, I’ve heard rumors that if you yell “¡Tengo Hambre!” towards the heavens and then rub your stomach three times, the Tamales Guy will come running with as many tamales as your bloated drinking belly can handle. And if you get really desperate, beg the bartender for a Milkbone. Just don’t be surprised if you have to compete with two other dogs to get your treat. That’s right, since they lack the ability to feed you solids, you can bring dogs into the bar! I really think there is nothing better than getting drunk with your best friend next to you– You walk them there, and they walk you home.
Like I said before, The Four Treys beer selection is pretty awful; they have a couple different domestic bottles and random liquors behind the bar but the only thing I see people ordering are PBRs and shots of Jameson. But when you have a daily deal (except for Friday and Saturday) of $2.50 Pabsts and $3 shots of Jameson, who’d want to order anything else? Other highlights include a stuffed shark, a pool table and no crowds. My only issue with this bar is any time they show Bears games– a couple of regulars always mute the TV and blast the radio coverage– commericals included, which is ten times more annoying than listening to Joe Buck announce the game. As long as the Bears aren’t playing, or I’m supposed to be working, you can find me with a beer and a shot at The Four Treys.
Best of Roscoe Village Part 2
Four Moons Tavern 1847 W Roscoe St.
If you were to stand on Roscoe & Wolcott and look at the establishment, you would see two things: 1. The top-half of a building ready to collapse and 2. One really shitty logo. If I had any concern for my own well-being or was any more of an art fag (than I already am), I’d never step foot in that place. Fortunately for them, I’m incredibly lazy and only live a couple houses away. The inside of this place looks like a bar that you’d come across vacationing in the furthest outskirts of Wisconsin, except without all the un-ironic trucker hats and Miller Lite vinyl banners. While Four Moons does offer all the “excitement” of the Miller Lite vortex bottle, the bar counteracts it with an awesome selection of really great microbrews on tap like Two Bros, Lagunitas, Great Lakes and Ommegang. There’s very few places in the city, where I can watch Da Bulls, play pool, listen to Scotland Yard Gospel Choir on the jukebox, and enjoy a great craft brew all at the same time.The one downside about this bar is its food. I’ve had people come up to me raving about it, but every time I order something, I end up wondering if I’ve lost the ability to discern what good food should taste like. Eating their sweet potato fries was like chewing on a cold, stiff railroad ties, and on a couple different brunch outings, they served me the coldest fried eggs I’ve ever had the displeasure of tasting. Not one to leave a bad taste in your mouth, allow me to mention the best part of Four Moons Tavern– Sparky! This bartender extraordinaire is like a creature born to be behind a bar. He’s part man, part tavern. Wearing a collared shirt with a perfectly white bar apron, he’s a call back to a time where bartenders would only stop rubbing down the bar to ask “What ya’ll have Mac?”. You get the feeling that there’s a reason why this bar is so great, and I’m pretty sure he has a big part to play with it.
Best of Roscoe Village
Roscoe Village gets a bad rap. Hipsters scoff at it cause its not Logan Square, “Bros” piss on it cause its not Wrigleyville, and “Trixies” snub it cause its not Lincoln Park. That’s why I like it. Sure you have to walk on the grass because of all the strollers that take up the entire width of the sidewalk, but its worth it. You know why? Cause babies equal boring. And when something is considered boring, people avoid it like a bottle of O’Doul’s at a party. Which is how I like my neighborhoods: underrated and quiet. Here’s my three-way tie for the best bars in Roscoe Village!
Best of Roscoe Village Part 1
Village Tap 2055 West Roscoe Street
Got a first/blind date coming up? Go to the Village Tap! They’ve got something for everybody! And if you’re not having a good time, say you’re going to the bathroom and just walk out the patio’s back door. But chances are you’ll tell your date to leave, because you want to enjoy everything that the bar has to offer. The Village Tap a huge menu, and some really excellent vegetarian burgers. As a meat muncher (that’s a saying, right?”) who’s dating a vegetarian, I can appreciate a place that actually accommodates vegans and other dietary freaks. I usually end up eating my old hag’s veggie leftovers on top of finishing my own meaty burger– that’s how good all the food is. (Note to the people on first/blind dates: Don’t do this. Or at least ask before you put your sweaty mitts all over their half-eaten entrees.) Don’t have much to say to your date? Drink one or all of their 26 craft brews on tap– that should loosen your tongue among other things. And if you or your date are actually interesting and have something to say, you don’t have to compete with blasting speakers. In fact, the whole bar has a lower energy vibe, perfect for warding off loud, cunty drunks. Without a doubt, one of the bar’s best features is the four-season outdoor patio. During the colder days, they’ve got a cozy fireplace lit out there, and during the summer, you can bask in the sunlight and not feel bad for drinking at noon. And with these random 50°F days in March, Village Tap is a sure thing if you’re looking to do some patio drinking.